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Jokes
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single (of course).
One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests...I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could...the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed.
The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain...which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that WATER!!!"William, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
"That's great, honey! Should I pack for the beach, the mountains, or what?"
"Who cares? Just get out."Shadow Al shows up at our night poker game with his dog, Holly. The dog jumps on an empty seat and Al buys him some chips.
As the dealer starts to pass the dog by Al says, "Hey, deal my dog in!" We all look rather askance but we deal him in.
To everyone's surprise, the dog picks up the cards and begins to play!
After a few hands Groomster says, "Al, that's amazing! Your dog ought to be in the Guinness Book of Records!"
Al says, "Nah, he sees too many flops and is a sucker for a check-raise."
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